Well, last evening, I was struck by a notion. The notion was this: Is not greatness in a human being merely the successful utilization of the gifts God has given all, in various amounts and manners, which is success in the use thereof is accomplished by the mortification of the various carnal vices which attend us all, like laziness or indulgence?

Or, in other words, isn't a great person, either historical or fictional, "great" because they set aside what laziness and selfishness they had for the good of the cause that they were for? I am struck regularly with the feeling that I could easily ruin my life or stunt the continued healthy growth thereof by starting some terrible habit, like drinking alcohol, taking drugs, or, as I especially feel, viewing pornography. I know somewhat of the power which addiction has and I know the addict is truly powerless to stop himself, which is why to recover, he needs an outside force to forcibly stop the nurturing of the addiction or he will never get better.

All I need to do is start, which has seriously scared me and I'm still wondering what to do about it, in a preventative manner. Probably, one of the things I can do is stop wandering around the Internet at night, posting on my blog. :-\ *slaps forehead, but only for the sake of doing what I says I did*

This, I would say, is an example of God's extreme merciful power and my absolute stupidity in tempting Him. At the moment, I have absolutely no thought to doing anything I shouldn't, which is definitely a sign of God's overruling my mind because it is by no means that good or pure normally. As for me, it is absolutely stupid for me to be online right now because, even if God has always kept me from error, He doesn't have to. What idiocy.. So let me be brief.

I have seen a couple of sermons on SermonAudio.com which have to deal with some fellow named George Best. I had no idea who he was, so I looked him up. Apparently, he was a genius of soccer, because it seemed nothing was too hard for him. He could play very competitively and well on the field, but during which, he would be very bored and think of outrageous stunts to prove his boredom. He was good at soccer, ok?

Well, anyway, this shining star only lasted about 6 years before he gradually gave it all up for drinking and illegitimate sex. He gave it up because he couldn't stop his addiction and certainly his success left him without any barriers to getting what he wanted. He died last year of an infection resulting from the medicines he was taking to prevent his body from rejecting the new liver he had had transplanted on account of his drinking! Oh, and he was a handsome chap, too, so it just doesn't seem right in any sense that such brightness and ability should be mired in the muck of carnal pleasures!!

..but it was. :-
So I resolved that I would try to have self control in the Christian sense of the word, which is yielding control of ourselves to God for the fulfilment of our purpose in life. I've done ok since then, I guess. But this leads me to my last segment: the other extreme.

Uhhggg, Immanuel Kant was a burning example of the other extreme: he enslaved his entire life to thought and reason, which lead him to never travel 40 miles from the place of his birth and to disdain his siblings for the majority of his life despite sending them money faithfully because it was the "right thing to do". He had no friends and hated the very concept, in fact, of having friends because he thought it a base concept to prefer some before others in lieu of having a general joviality toward all without exceptions. People actually set their watches by his evening walk, such was the consistancy he sustained all his life, except once when he forgot while wrapped up in a book( doesn't that sound strange? ).

From all this I know I wouldn't want either extreme. May the Lord help me to find the happy medium!